Monday, February 17, 2014

talk pretty to me......




now, i don't normally post pics of my children. but this is relevant to the story and i am trying to participate in 5 on the 5th. from the lovely Monika Wright's blog. it is a monthly post where you post 5 random pics from your life. well, obviously these are not random, they are pics taken of my daughter amy for the christmas cards that i have yet to send but that is neither here nor there. this story has to do with my mother and the pics go along with it - sort of. if you have not met my mother and would like a bit of background. well, she fantastically old, she calls her lady bits her monkey, and when she comes to visit she dries her underpants on my furnace vents. if you would like more info please refer to here and here.

anyway, this past summer my mother came to visit us. it was lovely to see her and i felt that she just might cut me some slack because of the difficult time we were going through. but of course, that was incorrect. my mother practices a strange sort of love. one might call it tough. one might call it heavy.  she doesn't like belly aching. she doesn't like spleeny people, she doesn't care for complaining. she says things like "oh for god's sake would you get over it" 

and so she started one afternoon over tea.......

mom: "you know, amy is quite pretty"

me: " yes, i think she is"

mom: " well, we've never really had a pretty person in our family before"

me: "oh"

then my mother starts going through her eight brothers and sisters and their children and in some incidents their grandchildren

mom: well, there's bob. his kids were not good looking. and there's marion, her kids were all kind of hunchbacks. there's dot and her kids were really... well you may as well come right out and say it. they were homely as sin..........."

as mom continues on with this "who are the ugly relations reminiscing" i sit quietly sipping my tea and think "god, you've got to love this women" 

then she gets to the more immediate relatives.....

mom: "and my children, well they were certainly nothing to look at"

i pause mid-sip and look at her

me: "jesus mom, i'm sitting right here"

mom: "what, (huge dramatic pause where she turns to face me, knit needle halted) did you think you were pretty?"

me: "well, maybe in my own way."

mom: "now beverly, let's be honest"

me: "thanks mom"

mom: "well its not my fault what you look like"

me: "of course not"

mom: "well some said you were quite clever"

me: "now that makes me feel better"

mom: "of course, i couldn't see it"


and that is that. how it is to be loved by my mother. i look at her with such admiration and awe. this odd little nut has made me who i am.  in my family you are never at risk from delusions of grandeur. your head will never swell with self-pride. you will be reminded that you are loved despite being nobody special.

bev xx



51 comments:

  1. What a hoot! Your daughter is gorgeous and I'm sure the apple doesn't fall far from the tree :) You make me laugh. Nice to hear from you Bev.

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    1. thanks lisa. i'm glad i make you laugh!

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  2. A wonderful post! I laughed out loud. Your mother is a stitch. Got to love a person who speaks their mind. Bev, you certainly haven't lost your sense of humor. So good to read your wit, see photos of your beautiful daughter, and learn more about your hilarious mom. Thanks for putting a huge smile on my face.

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    1. oh my sweet girl you are so welcome. i just wish i could sit with you and have some tea. you must just wake up thinking each day is the best day ever and we will get through these parts between the tests xxxx

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  3. This is hilarious! Your gift for writing expands to every possible corner of the human experience. I think I'd love mentally sparring with your mom!

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    1. why J, you darling lady. and yes i do like a little game, set match with mum.

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  4. Your heart is so gracious that despite your mother's directness, you still love. I admire that you can accept this. Can't say I would be as gracious.

    Your daughter is gorgeous!!

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    1. hello heather. you can't help but love her. she makes good pies and seafood chowder. thanks for visiting and commenting

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  5. I do believe we all feel our Mom's can be a bit critical, if only in a small way with but a few things. I see myself doing it with my own girls and want to bite my tongue after I've uttered the words. What I find so refreshing, is that you've captured a Mom's love..." you are loved despite being nobody special." Sure, we are special to our parents, our family, and a few other special people, but really. but we are loved just for being us.

    I can't wait to read your next post!

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    1. OMG! so happy you stopped by. you are so sweet. don't worry my mom lets me know i am a disappointment to her but she's making the best of the children she was given. i am probably turned out the opposite with my kids. i fill their heads with all sorts of lovely nonsense. come back anytime.

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  6. Bev, your daughter is simply stunning -- and she looks so happy!! Gorgeous pictures. Thanks so much for sharing a peek at her with us.

    And as for your mom . . . I love when you write about her, I do laugh and laugh (with a kind of grim horror), and I fervently hope you are able to take it all with a grain of salt, as it seems you do. You are so beloved by so many of us -- and I wonder sometimes if our moms are a bit jealous of their cool, independent daughters? I dunno. But anyway, your writing is stunning as always. Thinking of you and sending lots of love. xx

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    1. my dearest lady, thank you for saying she looks happy because despite everything i'm sure she is. we are tough nuts, us prairie girls.
      and thank you for all the kind words. mom likes to yank my chain. i know that she loves me but she is a firm believer that love should hurt :)
      xxxxx's

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  7. You're mother is what one could call a "character". I think one would have to develop a thick skin not to be hurt by her remarks but that fact you know you are loved is a great soother I guess.

    Your daughter is beyond pretty. She is quite beautiful.

    As for your mothers comments about who is attractive within your family. I wonder if she can be objective? Do we see our family members with unbiased eyes? Although...I would think the norm is to score higher than the reality...not lower.

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    1. mom truly is one of those people who have very little social tack. she sometimes leaves a trail of broken hearts but none of them are mine. i worship the old crackpot! xx

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  8. Such a beautiful girl! I suspect you had something to do with how lovely she is :)

    Always fun to read your mom stories, she's one of a kind!

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    1. i dunno she looks like an import but people do say that she has my smile. thanks for stopping in, i really appreciate it.

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  9. Great post! Your daughter is so lovely :)
    I'm not sure my fragile ego could handle tea with your mom!!

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    1. oh astra, i could toughen you up with a few lessons- its all in the breathing. :)

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  10. OMG! I laughed my ass off reading this. Your mother's a fucking nightmare. I TOTALLY LOVE HER!!! And your daughter is gorgeous. You must have had something to do with that, Bev. I'm so glad you're writing again. I've missed you terribly, my friend.

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    1. dearest jane, you can have her. just send one big padded envelope and shit load of stamps.
      thanks so much for the lovely stuff - it feels good to be writing my friend xxx

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  11. That last line of your mom's made me cackle! You are a stronger daughter than I could be (although, I now laugh when my father constantly remarks about my weight). And your daughter - who has a beautiful name (wink) - is stunning. You are a lucky lady.

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    1. dearest amy (best name in the world), i am a lucky lady. maybe long ago it hurt but now its like i'm in some sort of comedy skit with her. please get crafting and blogging. i love you xxx

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  12. I know all about mothers like that Bev....my heart goes out to you! xxx

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    1. oh em, they can be pissers can't they. we should have tea and plan our defense.

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  13. Beautiful pictures, hilarious story!

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    1. thank you fundy blue, you sweet thing

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  14. Oh Bev, I never tire of your Mom stories. In spite of your quirky mother you have become an amazing Mother and you can see that is true when you look in Amy's beautiful eyes!

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    1. oh my god, i'm coming to your house this weekend and kiss you on the mouth for that!!

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  15. Dear Bev, to be able to say that in your family "you will be reminded that you are loved despite being nobody special" is, I think, to have embraced your life. Peace.

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    1. dearest dee, i hope i embrace it. i certainly enjoy it and am very grateful for it. xxx thanks for always visiting and your words of wisdom. i so look forward to them.

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  16. I don't know how you do it! I sit here reading and I can't decide whether I want to wet my pants laughing, or cut loose on her with a verbal barrage of how to be a kinder person. Truth be told, she reminds me of my Grandma! Yep, Jesus doesn't love little girls with messy hair and parts that aren't straight and he rewards the good ones with beauty. So if I wanted to be beautiful like Shelley, I needed to sit up straight and stop crawling on the floor and messing my hair.
    Umm...could we be distantly related through my Grandma and your Mom? *grin*
    And your daughter is amazingly beautiful! And I'm guessing at least some of it came from her Mom. (Is that the Christmas Pony in the picture with her?)

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    1. my dear sister chris, i dare you to let loose on her. others have tried with little success. god, don't you just love it when they bring jesus into it.
      that is not sally the christmas horse, it is her sister abby. amy benefitted from russell being a soft touch. she has 4 horses. sally the christmas horse is doing well though - halter broke and ready for the saddle this summer. i am phoning you soon!!!

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    2. I'm holding you to that sister!

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  17. Snorting noises again. Glad I live alone. Anyway, how funny. Reminds me of my old aunt who used to comment LOUDLY on the size of the thighs of the other women in whatever room we were in. And yes your daughter is very lovely! Congratulations on birthing the first pretty person in your family!! :)

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    1. ha ha! thank you so much francine. you see what i have to put up! my mothers into pointing out asses. its a treat. xxx

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    1. oh mark, thank you for that. i look around me and feel such gratitude for everything that i have been given. i appreciate the support of my little online family so much.

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  19. ahhh, I'm laughing and shaking my head at the same time. I'm glad to see a follow-up post to blog your heart! It's funny that she said it's not her fault that you're not pretty when she's the one who made you! Seriously, that conversation could be on a sitcom.

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    1. dear angela, my mother is her own sitcom. i sometimes look at her and think there must be hidden cameras here somewhere. thank you for stopping by. you have the loveliest smile.

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  20. How did I manage to miss this post? Was I in a drunken stupour? Hmmm no, I see you posted this on Family Day Monday. I was working overtime in the office that day so alas, guess I skipped my blogroll feed while I was chasing that goddamn red dot.

    Anyway -- this made me laugh so hard! Your Mom is a real piece of work! I've known one or two women like her over the years. No filters whatsoever. Whatever they think, they say, LOL!

    Your daughter is gorgeous and I'm sure you are too.

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    1. oh my jesus debra, how i have longed for your return. i felt a tiny bit adrift without your witty banter. who, i thought, will come with me and margaret atwood when we go shopping at campers village. :) xx

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  21. Replies
    1. hello niki, what have you been writing about, i must go see...

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  22. If I quote "you is kind, you is smart, you is important" does it "help"?

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  23. Surely this is a site well worth seeing.

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  24. Reason #1,672 why I need to tell my kids more that they are beautiful. In spite of what their father and mother look like (smile).

    You did good Bev. You did real good.

    Besos, Sarah
    Blogger at Journeys of The Zoo

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  25. Dear Bev, I hope that you are moving through your life without a feeling that your gulping water and drowning. And I hope that memory brings comfort. Take care. I came back today to see if you've been posting. And I saw that you haven't. That's fine, I'm just hoping that you are okay at the deep center of yourself where Oneness dwells. Peace.

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